Oct 4, 2009

What am I?

* flatulence is never far
* my fingernails are uncharacteristically flaky
* I cry at beauty
* 11 am every day I get a hangover without having boozed last night
* my temper has softened
* my house is extremely messy
* I piss like a bitch
* none of my clothes fit
* I can't stop drinking long cold glasses of milk, at lightening speed
* garlic makes me feel sick
* bending over makes me feel sick
* I have a husband who is uncontrollably redecorating our house
* my relationship with the couch is close and dependable
* I can't read
* I can't jog
* I can't sauna
* I have finally accepted that I have no control over my life at all, for now yet I feel blessed beyond words

What am I?
at 10:57 AM

5 frank folks find it in their hearts to say::

mrs smith said...

don't forget no seafood or pate and I bet you get horny as a wazzaname ...

5:54 PM
D said...

... horny as a wazzaname. well, yes, actually. yes. but isnt that how we get ourselves into this kinda mess in the first place: shit!

6:05 PM
Kris said...

Yes, but you may as well enjoy it now - you're messed and mussed for quite a while now.

What are you? Lovely.

9:46 PM
Gillian said...

piss like a bitch?
o boy - I can amn well HEAR that!
xxxx

1:18 PM
Loz and Dinny said...

and no delicious soft cheeses with mould and shit

9:11 AM

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